So, we've started dating. If you're not a parent, you probably think that once you get married you're done, that's it, no more dating. Well, you're wrong. And in fact, although I never really dated before meeting Jonathan, I think that parent dating might be much more uncomfortable and weird.
I think when you have your first kid, you're so caught up in trying to survive, that you're okay for a little while. You just stay at home with your one little baby and you're in such baby bliss that you don't mind SO much that you might not talk to an adult all day. Then time goes on and as much as you love your baby, you just wish there was someone else to talk to and someone your kid's age for them to play with. I mean, it gets a little disheartening after the 10th time you build the most awesome castle from blocks and you're just looking for someone to admire it and your toddler just comes over and knocks it down without even an "oooh." You start eavesdropping on other parents at the park to hear what they're situation is, you kind of give weird smiles to say hello, you get a little flutter of excitement when your kid starts playing with theirs because that might be your "in." It's like when you're single and you go to the bar and you flip your hair or stand a little closer to someone or whatever else you do to show you're interested (I told you I didn't really date and I suppose that's why. My example was "moving closer" to someone - yeah, I was awesome at the dating scene). It's like that, just a little more awkward.
Dating to meet a boyfriend or girlfriend is a little more normal, I think. People kind of know what to expect and they know that if someone is coming up to you at the bar, they're most likely trying to pick you up. Parent dating is not so easy. About a month ago Charlotte started playing with a little girl at the park and so then after a few minutes, the little girl's mom and I started talking. A parent's pick up line: "Do you live around here?" (that was hers) or "Do you come here often (referring to the park!) or "How old is s/he?" or "What do you guys do all day?" We had this whole conversation about the answers to all those questions and then we had to go. We got in the car and left and I just sighed. Ugh. I should have set a date with her. She seemed nice enough. Charlotte and the little girl got along. Ugh - why didn't I ask them out? It's so weird. You don't want to seem too forward or be the weird parent at the park or assume they want friends as badly as you do, so you don't do it. And I think, a lot of stuff about becoming a parent is just that. You think that those other parents are so different from you. They have everything together, they're child never throws things down their toilet, they never raise their voice at their kid and then feel guilty, they have plenty of friends, they're not lonely at all - but if you could just get up the nerve to ask them out, you might find out they're just like you...and they're also pretty awesome (maybe!).
Since that situation, Jon and I have gotten into a relationship with some other parents and it is awesome. It's amazing how much that can change your day and make you feel so much less alone and just how happy it can make you and your kids!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
What else...
Really? Did all of this stuff just happen in one week? Seriously? I don't know if Jon and I can handle it. Mentally or financially!! You may have seen an article about this online somewhere or I'm sure it has been covered in one of the ridiculously rushed and stupid segments on the Today show. It's about how much money you spend raising a child from birth to 18 years (as if when they turn 18 you just stop spending money on them or that anything you are spending doesn't count anymore!). Well...one that I saw says about $227, 000. Wow. What it doesn't consider is that you might be raising a Charlotte. A precious little girl who is in love with Curious George and apparently thinks that she is just like him. (And for some reason George NEVER gets in trouble...EVER. Great lesson Curious George writers!!! At least in the old Curious George books he got put in jail sometimes or locked back up in the zoo or something. Now, everyone just laughs and cleans up his mess!) So the cost of raising a Charlotte I'm pretty darn sure is much, MUCH more than $227,000. They should let us claim that on our taxes or something. Give us a rating system of how mischievous our child is and refund us accordingly.
Earlier in the week you may have seen my blog about how this was already a rough week - and it was only Wednesday. Well, the week kind of went on like that! Let's recap. Charlotte ate some deoderizing gel beads, she was pooping all over room and in the bathtub, she threw the plugged in hair straightner into the bathtub with her, clogged our toilet with a plastic toy bagel, Jon found and caught a rodent of some sort downstairs (before I got home from work, good job!), and Charlotte got put in toddler jail.
For the rest of the week we get to add: (1)Charlotte killed Jon's phone because she threw it into the jacuzzi. You know the moment you see them about to do something and everything is in slow motion - like when you're approaching your dog and you don't want him to run away. She dropped it in before he could make it. (2)She ruined the garage door clicker by throwing that into some water too. (3) We started making her Jack's diapers to nap time because Jon just couldn't stand cleaning up any more crap and doing any extra laundry. Instead of caring and putting up a fight...she's just enjoying getting to try out different colors and be like Jack. Guess the first day was just a fluke. (4) She has begun waking up at 5:30AM and coming into our room to let us know she needs her oatmeal. We started leaving her door open at night so that she might come out in the morning to go to the bathroom instead of doing it in her room. She doesn't pee in her bed in the morning anymore, but she does get up earlier and earlier every day! (5) The monitor on Jon's computer broke (the one he uses for work) and we stupidly went searching for a new monitor and/or trying to use an old one with a cable that didn't work instead of realizing (well, being told by my mom!) that - duh! - we should get an adapter - which was MUCH cheaper than a new monitor. We'll see if that works out or if we still have to use the new monitor. (6) I spent the entire nap time, plus some - 3 hours - on the phone to Dell and the very helpful Ashish to get our brand new computer fixed which was their fault in the first place!
Whew! Meanwhile, the car has needed an oil change and tire rotation for about a week and a half. There is so much laundry either waiting to be folded or waiting to be washed, I'm on my backup underwear. You know - the ones that you don't really like all that much but you keep them in your drawer for exactly these times. And I'm pretty sure that my precious little Jack hasn't had a bath in about a week. Seriously - I needed this 3 day weekend...badly!!
Earlier in the week you may have seen my blog about how this was already a rough week - and it was only Wednesday. Well, the week kind of went on like that! Let's recap. Charlotte ate some deoderizing gel beads, she was pooping all over room and in the bathtub, she threw the plugged in hair straightner into the bathtub with her, clogged our toilet with a plastic toy bagel, Jon found and caught a rodent of some sort downstairs (before I got home from work, good job!), and Charlotte got put in toddler jail.
For the rest of the week we get to add: (1)Charlotte killed Jon's phone because she threw it into the jacuzzi. You know the moment you see them about to do something and everything is in slow motion - like when you're approaching your dog and you don't want him to run away. She dropped it in before he could make it. (2)She ruined the garage door clicker by throwing that into some water too. (3) We started making her Jack's diapers to nap time because Jon just couldn't stand cleaning up any more crap and doing any extra laundry. Instead of caring and putting up a fight...she's just enjoying getting to try out different colors and be like Jack. Guess the first day was just a fluke. (4) She has begun waking up at 5:30AM and coming into our room to let us know she needs her oatmeal. We started leaving her door open at night so that she might come out in the morning to go to the bathroom instead of doing it in her room. She doesn't pee in her bed in the morning anymore, but she does get up earlier and earlier every day! (5) The monitor on Jon's computer broke (the one he uses for work) and we stupidly went searching for a new monitor and/or trying to use an old one with a cable that didn't work instead of realizing (well, being told by my mom!) that - duh! - we should get an adapter - which was MUCH cheaper than a new monitor. We'll see if that works out or if we still have to use the new monitor. (6) I spent the entire nap time, plus some - 3 hours - on the phone to Dell and the very helpful Ashish to get our brand new computer fixed which was their fault in the first place!
Whew! Meanwhile, the car has needed an oil change and tire rotation for about a week and a half. There is so much laundry either waiting to be folded or waiting to be washed, I'm on my backup underwear. You know - the ones that you don't really like all that much but you keep them in your drawer for exactly these times. And I'm pretty sure that my precious little Jack hasn't had a bath in about a week. Seriously - I needed this 3 day weekend...badly!!
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