Charlotte started kindergarten this week and Jack will start pre-school on Tuesday and I cannot believe it. I have no idea how we got to this point. I mean, obviously I know how, but HOW? I'm pretty sure they were JUST born. Sending your kids off to school is terrifying and exciting and worrying and so very strange! Their whole life (so far) is with you. You know everyone they've met, all the places they've been, who they interact with, what they eat..and then one day, they're responsible for that stuff and you have no idea what happened to them. They have their own conversations, probably eat other people's food, decide who to play with and where to go...its weird! You start to lose them, but they're so little! Jack seems so small and we'll just drop him off at school and hope he's alright. I know he will be, but it's so crazy that he'll be "on his own" for part of the day.
And, as sad as you are to drop your little ones off at school, there are moments when you're at home with them, wishing there was school so you could have a break! I'm pretty sure this why the saying in the title is so true. Every day, the little things wear you down, drive you crazy, and get under your skin and it can make some days never ending. But as the weeks, months, years go by, the arguments, the tattling, the constant cleaning of toys and crumbs under the table get forgotten and all that's left in your memory are the good things. The wonderful moments you laughed together, had dance parties, played cats and dogs for hours, travelled together, snuggled in bed together....those things remain in your mind and it feels like that past year has flown by. Not that I haven't tried to always do this, but now that both of my kids are starting to have their own lives (even if it might only be 3 1/2 hours a day), I need to really treasure the moments I do get with them. Now, I'm off to diffuse an argument. ;-)
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Yes...no...yes?
You make a crapload of decisions in life. From what to wear in the morning to what to eat for dinner...but when you become a parent, the amount of decisions you have to make doubles...triples...more maybe? And the thing about that is, its fine that I have more decisions to make, but I am never actually that sure of the answer. I second guess so many decisions or debate them in my head in order to cause the least amount of backlash from my kids. They do something wrong or they want something or they ask a question and immediately I have to decide...how much do I really care about this (is this worth the fight or not?), how much do they really care about this, what answer is going to be a problem, what tone do I need to present this answer in, do I have anything to back up my answer? Those are just a few! This is just one reason why parenting is one of the most difficult jobs you'll ever have.
Jack hasn't been taking naps the past few weeks because of a whole bedtime situation (whole other story), but tonight he wants to stay up late to swim in the dark. So, he agreed to go take a nap in exchange for a late bedtime. He went into his room so calmly and I didn't hear anything from him...until I did. We're renting a house and it has many "quirks" but one of the is the worlds most annoying sound a door could possibly make. It doesn't actually latch to close but it almost jams into its frame and when you pull it open it makes the most horrible screeching sound. Every. Time. So every time Jack needs something, you start off with an annoyed feeling because of the freaking sound. Anyway, I hear the sound and go up to see what's going on and it turns out, he's crapped all over but is trying to downplay it because he "cleaned it up." All I hear in my head is, "there's poop all over my hands and everywhere else I have just touched." At this moment, I have to make a decision, and I'm not always making them consciously. Sometimes...A lot of times, I just react. I get annoyed, I tell him how that's not okay and he knows to come tell me when he needs to go to the bathroom. This leads to him throwing his water cup across the room, me stepping in the pee puddle (yeah, there was that too!), him hiding behind his chair, me limping to get him (don't want to spread the pee), me shouting at him to get in bed, him started to cry how sorry he is, me feeling like shit...while cleaning up shit. :-( It's all really delightful.
We hugged it out, he moved on, laid down and went to bed, and I came downstairs and (after cleaning up all the crap), sat and felt like such a jerk. My 3 year old made a mistake, came out of his room and asked me for help, and I screamed and yelled at him...I'm awesome. In that moment that he threw his water I could have just made a different decision, things could have gone totally differently. I could have told him I could help and then talked to him about the mistake. I went the amazing parent route though...all in a days work. :-/
Jack hasn't been taking naps the past few weeks because of a whole bedtime situation (whole other story), but tonight he wants to stay up late to swim in the dark. So, he agreed to go take a nap in exchange for a late bedtime. He went into his room so calmly and I didn't hear anything from him...until I did. We're renting a house and it has many "quirks" but one of the is the worlds most annoying sound a door could possibly make. It doesn't actually latch to close but it almost jams into its frame and when you pull it open it makes the most horrible screeching sound. Every. Time. So every time Jack needs something, you start off with an annoyed feeling because of the freaking sound. Anyway, I hear the sound and go up to see what's going on and it turns out, he's crapped all over but is trying to downplay it because he "cleaned it up." All I hear in my head is, "there's poop all over my hands and everywhere else I have just touched." At this moment, I have to make a decision, and I'm not always making them consciously.
We hugged it out, he moved on, laid down and went to bed, and I came downstairs and (after cleaning up all the crap), sat and felt like such a jerk. My 3 year old made a mistake, came out of his room and asked me for help, and I screamed and yelled at him...I'm awesome. In that moment that he threw his water I could have just made a different decision, things could have gone totally differently. I could have told him I could help and then talked to him about the mistake. I went the amazing parent route though...all in a days work. :-/
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