Preschool

I know.  I know it has been months since I last posted.  I think about my posts all the time.  When something strange happens or something hilarious or sad, but I didn't write about them.  Then, every time that passes, I wish I would have written it down.  So, I don't want to let that happen anymore.  To catch you up real quick: This summer, Jon and I took the kids to England.  It was an 11 1/2 hour flight with a 3 year old and a 1 year old.  On that trip, Jack started to walk and got all 4 of his molars.  That trip is a whole other story.  I might get to it.  If not - I think you can imagine.  It. Was. Exhausting.  Wonderful, but exhausting.  We came home and recovered and now I'm back at work.  Every single freaking day.  Working.  So, yah, that sucks.  Anyway...here we are.  September 4th, 2012.  The day I started to lose my little girl (AKA the first day of preschool)! 

Okay, I know, that might sound a little dramatic, but that's how it feels.  That's why I was crying so much.  And not just this morning when I had to say goodbye to her.  I felt weird all day yesterday.  I couldn't quite put my finger on why, but I just didn't feel good.  It's kind of like when I'm going to fly on a Saturday and I have a messed up stomach all Friday and tell Jon that I'm not sure why I don't feel good.  It's always the flight.  Duh.  As I crawled into bed last night, I just lost it.  I cried and cried.  There are a million reasons why.  I can't exactly say if I was crying about one or all of them, but I was crying.  She's my little baby girl.  My precious little firecracker of a girl.  She's only 3...and I will already lose a little piece of her.  It's hard enough that I work full time and have to leave her every day, but it's at least okay because she's with Jon and he can tell me how her day was.  But now, she goes to someone else.  We just drop her off at school.  I have no idea what she does, how her conversations go, who she plays with, who might bother her...who she might bother!, none of it!  It's just...the beginning of letting her go.  She's our little creation that has belonged solely to us and now we have to start giving up pieces of her life to belong only to her*.  So, this morning when we dropped her off, I was not so excited about it.  We walked in, found the playground, signed her in and she was off.  She didn't even look back.  I stood there, hiding my tears behind my sunglasses while she ran off to her play with "her girls" as she calls them.  By the time we go to the car, I had really lost it.  It was rough.  As if that didn't suck enough, I had to go to work in the afternoon with giant puffy eyes.  Awwwesome.

*Belonging only to her is very true.  These days, she has become quite the story teller.  When she is home with Jon or I, I can weed out the stories from the reality - even if we do have to cross check information.  Today she came home and is telling us things from her day and we have NO idea what is true and what is a story she has created.  Makes for interesting dinner conversation.